Hookers For Hillary! Bunny Ranch Endorses Hillary Clinton For President

In advance of this weekend’s Nevada caucuses, prostitutes at Dennis Hof’s world famous “Moonlite Bunny Ranch” legal brothel in Carson City, Nevada are banding together to announce their support of the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign.  Following Clinton’s formal announcement last year, the sex workers launched their “Hookers For Hillary” initiative, drafting a four point platform to explain their endorsement:

*Protecting health care reform

Hillary Clinton, as part of her husband’s administration, envisioned health care reform in the 1990s, long before President Obama was able to sign it into law.  The Affordable Health Care Act made health insurance available for the first time ever to the 500 independent contractors employed by Dennis Hof.  With any Republican nominee likely to work for its repeal, the bunnies want to protect the quality health coverage that they now enjoy.

*Foreign policy experience

As Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton gained invaluable experience negotiating with foreign leaders, and the bunnies can definitely relate to negotiating through a language barrier.  The Bunny Ranch entertains customers from all around the globe, and the girls have great respect for any woman who can take powerful men from oppressive cultures and make them bend to her will.  With her eye on the international landscape, the bunnies are confident that President Hillary Clinton would also avoid a repeat of the Secret Service’s Colombian prostitution scandal by making sure that her detail “buys American.”

*Support for agencies that protect the public’s health

Nevada’s mandatory testing of legal prostitutes for sexually transmitted diseases is a successful example of effective government regulation.  While Republican candidates have questioned the need for agencies like Health and Human Services (HHS) & the Food And Drug Administration (FDA), the bunnies applaud Hillary’s recognition of the fact that responsible government oversight is a key to protecting the public’s health from widespread disease.

*Prevention of a return to supply side economics

Bill Clinton presided over the most prosperous time in Bunny Ranch history, which coincided with a tax increase on the wealthiest Americans, like brothel owner Dennis Hof.  The bunnies recognize that thriving economies are built from the bottom up, where the vast majority of their clients originate.  A return to relying on the disproven theory of trickle down economics would only serve to exclude the vast majority of hard working Bunny Ranch clients from having the discretionary income to enjoy with their favorite bunny.

Hundreds of legal prostitutes that are employed by Hof’s seven legal brothels will be out in force all over Nevada this weekend in support of Clinton.

Dennis and the Bunny Ranch girls are available for interviews by contacting marc@bunnyranch.com, dennis@bunnyranch.com, or 775-720-9090.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s